Are you listening?

At the start of any corporate facilitation, I introduce myself. I always do a calming exercise to shift my 30 seconds of nervous energy into excitement. Excitement to meet new people, provide them with the opportunity to learn and grow, and work with an organisation that has believed in me to come and work with their most precious resource, their people.

At the start of each session, one of my favourite parts is learning everyones names and hearing all about them. I always weave in a typical ‘highlight of the week’ which gets me curious to see who shares a business win (which provides great content to draw upon within my session) and those who feel safe in the room, share something personal.

It doesn’t matter if you are an expert in your field, a specialist, or master, you still need to have exceptional listening skills. Knowledge is important but you also need to have great communication skills to be most effective. The difference shows up when you can bring out the best in people.

I often research the industry I am working with and spend time customising material to ensure the content is relatable and draws on real life examples. This helps our brains make stronger connections. But I don’t need to be the expert in the industry or field of work. I need to be an expert with people, which is a passion of mine so I am half way there!

In one of my 2-day training programs, we worked through the theory and had many facilitated discussions on the content. As a facilitator, my role is to ensure I provide the right environment. A brain-friendly, engaging and plenty of opportunity for everyone in the room to have a voice. On this occasion, I noticed one clearly didn’t. I watched and listened for clues. I felt and observed the behaviour.

When the time was right, in one of our breaks, I went over to talk to the person. I asked a few questions, confirmed their role and responsibilities. I lead with curiosity and actively listened. I got all the information I needed. The person didn’t feel that they were good enough to be in the session, they were an ‘emerging leader’. Their inner voice was not serving them, and they had every right to be there and contribute.

After the break, I made sure that I weaved in other examples to accommodate their role as well as the majority in the room. I could physically see the energy shift. They began to share more and participate openly, even their body language changed. The difference, I listened.

If you provide people with your most precious resource ‘your time’ and really listen, you’ll be amazed at what you can learn. On the surface, a simple skill of ‘listening’, but one that takes plenty of time and practice to master.

Try some of these to help master your listening skills:

• Embrace silence, close your mouth!

• Open your mind and be ready to listen

• Ask a curious question and stay curious to hear the answer

• Ask clarifying questions to deepen your understanding

• Listen to understand more about the speaker

• Put your own agenda away, and remove judgement

• Quiet your inner voice, be open and present

• Clear any distractions

It is amazing how it feels when you feel heard. When was the last time you felt heard?