Where to from here?

It is easy to get stuck in ground hog day, mindlessly going through the motions. In default mode, not really paying attention to the moments we find ourselves in. As time passes and restrictions start to ease, another adjustment needs to be made, this can stir up many different emotions. It can lead us to over think, second guess, self-doubt and in turn create an uncomfortable level of anxiety.

I want to come and go from my home, but now that I can, I am not sure I feel ok about it…

I want to be able to see my family and friends, but now I feel pressure mounting up…

I want to return to the office, but I am not sure I am ready to leave the flexibility behind…

I want to go shopping and try on clothes, but I am not sure I want to, my body shape has changed…

I want to go plan a holiday, but I am nervous about what the future holds…

I want to eat out at a restaurant, but I am feeling nervous…

I want to have more energy, but I constantly feel exhausted…

So many mixed emotions, each change we face requires us to navigate another set of boundaries, rules, and structure that we then adjust for ourselves and those around us. It is exhausting. Change fatigue is real. We must learn to adapt and adjust in our own time. Ease our way back into it.

My business took a big downturn at the beginning of lock down. We managed to convert some of our corporate facilitation clients online and continued to work remotely with our coaching clients. Until a virtual, full-time contract appeared with Westpac. From an initial 3-week term, it grew into a 12-week contract helping up-skill people to complete important investigations and system updates, among other things (let’s say I now know much more about the banking industry).

Keeping emotions at bay was hard. The struggle was real, I desperately tried to be grateful for paid work but the long days, 6-7 days a week of work and being ‘on’ all the time was exhausting. It was difficult to honour our business commitments (x2), home learning two kids, keeping up with lock down rules and sticking to them and running a household (sometimes solo as my husband traveled for work). As the contract drew to a close, that long unforgiving road was coming to an end. An overwhelming sense of anxiety washed over me. Where to from here? Now I face what impact Covid has really had on my business. I need to shift from working in my business to ‘on it’. I am not sure I am ready. I sat in overwhelm until I played coach with myself. What would I ask this client sitting in front of me? So that is what I did, I got out my notebook, wrote down questions and answered them. This exercise helped immensely.

I created space for myself. I gave myself permission to pause and take time. Time to reflect, tap into my feelings and acknowledge what I had achieved and what I learnt. I thought about what I wanted the rest of my year to look like, how I wanted to feel and what I needed to enable this vision. I now feel ready, I feel at ease to reconnect with my awesome networks, clients and most importantly, myself. In this downtime I had an idea and I really want to help people shift, manage their emotions and energy when it comes to change, making these big adjustments. Stay tuned for more details, I’ll be sharing something in this space soon.

For now, it is all about nurturing my existing clients, making space for new and sharing my insights with people to help them through. Personally, I have taken time out, rested, had a week off socials, and I am two weeks into a health and fitness challenge to fire me up and get my routine back on track. I am super proud of myself for investing time and energy back into myself, I often get overlooked and get stuck in managing everything/everyone else. Not this time, that was a big lesson!