A guide to help you stop overthinking
As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I find myself thinking. My thoughts circle over and over about the day that was, and the day ahead. What I should or could have done differently, how I reacted in situations, the types of conversations I had, what work I completed, and what is on the extensive list for tomorrow. I get stuck on the merry-go-round of thoughts and sadly they are not always gentle and kind. Certainly NOT what I would say to a friend.
We can get stuck in our own heads obeying our inner voice by overthinking, analysing, and judging. This process affects how we perceive things and how we navigate life. The key is to become self-aware of when this is occurring, and in the moment, taking a deep breath to tune into our thoughts, body sensations and the present moment. What shows up for you? How is it serving you? Connecting to this deeper awareness can help us start to identify what is driving these thoughts.
We need to learn to shift in the moment, and question that annoying inner voice. Is it true? Would you say this to a friend? When we overthink, there are different emotions coming up. This means we are in the limbic system of our brain and not thinking rationally.
In the moment when we notice our thoughts spiralling, we can use a reframing exercise to help shift our mindset to a different place, a better place where we are not beating ourselves up or over analysing everything!
The quick reframing exercise I like to use is:
Breathe – take a deep breath
This relaxes our nervous system and brings us into the present. I recommend a counted breath. Breathe in for the count of five, hold slightly, then breathe out for the count of five. From a neuroscience perspective we are activating the pre-frontal cortex (the thinking part of our brain) through our breath and counting.
Acknowledge your feelings
By labelling how we are feeling, this helps dampen down the limbic system. We are not the emotion; we are simply feeling this way, in this moment. The key here is to think of a specific descriptive word to label our feelings.
Reframe, and sprinkle ‘perspective’ on it
By bringing in perspective to our thoughts it can help shift our mindset. Remove ourselves from the problems or drama and focus on the situation less emotive. Your brain should now be moving more into the pre-frontal cortex, allowing you to think clearly. What can we acknowledge ourselves for today?
Make a promise to yourself to become acutely aware of when your overthinking, analysing, and judging yourself. Try to make shifts in other areas too that will help reduce overthinking such as:
Set boundaries - give yourself a set time to make a decision, rather than spend a week worrying about something that may only take you a small amount of time.
Delegate – if you can, look for opportunities to eliminate decisions and pass them to someone else.
Perspective of impact – think about the impact of your thoughts or decision, and whether it is significant to you now, in a months’ time or even in a years’ time.
Perfection – let it go. No one is perfect and it does not serve you well to put unrealistic and grand expectations on yourself.
The key is to catch yourself in the moment, raise your level of self-awareness which will in turn help you take greater control of your mindset and increase your self-confidence. Practice the reframing exercise and strive to be better each day – not perfect!