Setting Boundaries

Annie is a hard worker, committed to delivering and very loyal to her employer. She is a typical over achiever, perfectionist, and people-pleaser. This means she always puts others first, says yes when she should push back or say no, and consistently seeks external validation. As time moves forward, the cracks begin to appear. Sleepless nights, feelings of overwhelm and anxiety, limited time where she switches off as she feels like she needs to be available constantly checking her phone, emails, messages, even on weekends.

Does Annie sound like you? Can you relate?

Change is hard, how can Annie make a shift and set boundaries to ease those unpleasant feelings and stop before it is too late, and burnout sets in.

Self-awareness

Let’s start here, you need to identify when this is happening to be able to pause and make a change. Think about what you are saying yes to, do you have capacity, is there an opportunity to delegate or have some assistance. You don’t need to be the answer for everything, share the load.

Time management

Learn to set boundaries around your working hours, start and finish times. Be flexible if you have late meetings that you need to attend, can you start later to fit in some exercise or a walk. When meeting requests come through, review and question – do you really need to be involved, can you get a summary later? Is there an agenda so you can make that decision – no agenda, no attendance! (tough one to execute, but I dare you to give it a try).

Schedule non-work activities

To ensure you don’t fall into the trap of devoting all your energy and focus on work. Plan out some fun things to do on weekends and maybe a random mid-week activity to mix up the work week. Can you schedule a 30-minute lunchtime walk? Can you schedule a 6pm exercise class?

Communication

Communicate with your Manager and colleagues to ensure your boundaries are set up and respected. Have an authentic conversation, share what you need to feel good and perform at your best. Be open to feedback, be flexible to shift and adjust where necessary.

Once you recognise that something needs to change, get clear on what you need and start to communicate to those around you (at work and home) to ensure you are on the same page.

From a mindset and change perspective this takes time, be gently on yourself as you navigate a new way. It is normal for different feelings to arise such as guilt and fear. Your mindset will need some time to shift into a state of “I deserve this.. I am worthy.. I am brave to share my needs..”.

Annie is now very aware of what she needs, she has managed to set boundaries with her working time (start/finish), she delegates when needed, clearly communicates when ideas or tasks are thrown her way (pushing back or prioritising), she takes regular brain-breaks, she attends exercise classes (not just on the weekend). She is now clear and confident on what she needs to feel good, has shifted her mindset on her self-worth, and I am proud to be her coach.

*Annie is a name change of course to keep my clients’ identity safe. To all my high-performing, amazing executive clients - I bet you think it’s you, see, you are not alone!